Part 1: What I’ve learned from working at the city office

I love the athletics. I love coaching. I love competing. I love sports. I love helping people realize their potential. I love watching confidence and self love grow from doing hard things. I love being active. I am passionate about it.

That’s why I worked hard for a personal training certificate. I was a personal trainer and small group personal trainer for 11 years. I thought that I would be working in this field for the rest of my life. I loved those years and what I love more than coaching and training is the women that came to my classes EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. They are still my closest friends and I’ll never forget them. I left that part of my life due to some unfortunate circumstances. And maybe one day I will get into teaching and coaching again.

While in the middle of trying to figure out what else to do with my life, I recieved a call from a friend who was working at the city office in a nearby town. She needed to find someone to replace her. She asked if I was interested. I thought “why not.” I was interviewed for the job. I got the job.

It’s been 1.5 years since I started. I have been keeping track of the things that I have learned about people and myself from working there. As an avid observer of things and people, I was now front row to witness it all. It’s thrilling at times!

There are many stories to share about this, which is why this is “part 1.” This particular story just happened a week ago, but it happens on a daily basis. Someone comes into the office and they aren’t happy. They are complaining and honestly, quite rude to us who work there. Julie, who was taking this customer held her composure like she always does when someone comes in rude and upset. She listens to their complaints, and then validates them, (puts herself in their position) and then kindly tells them that she can help them, but talking to her that way is not appropriate and she is not the reason for her anger. Most of the time, people calm down, and they are able to communicate more effectively.

I am fascinated with these interactions. I have been taught by her example how to handle the public. I think its a great skill, because not only am I learning how to deal with all sorts of people, I am learning how one should talk to a spouse, a friend, a child, a sibling, a parent a neighbor when NOT at work at the city, and when tension might rise. If I was to have an outburst with my husband, then I would want him to teach me and have a boundary for not talking to him that way, like Julie did with this customer. I also can teach people how I would like to be talked to.

Often, when someone is yelling or attacking me, I naturally want to yell back and attack them back. But listening, validating and then asking them not to yell at me has turned out to be very productive.

Often, daily circumstances don’t go our way. We get upset. We want someone or something to blame. We aren’t even sure how to share those feelings. However, communicating these feelings without attacking is key. Often when there is attacking happening, our message is not heard, but the way it’s presented is.

How are you presenting YOUR message? Is it being received as intended?

Of course, I will be the first to admit that on my healing journey, I am not near perfect at this. But awareness is a start I guess.

J❤️